Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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