I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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