I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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