Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
