i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
