she smelled like a LAN party
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
