New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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