Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
