white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
