Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
