i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is it penis luge time yet?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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