She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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