What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
