are you still at the devil's house?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
