That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
