is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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