You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize