He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
