nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
