Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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