It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
