Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
