roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just invented taco cereal.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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