then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
