He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
