??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
