Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
