Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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