i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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