I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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