great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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