I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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