i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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