the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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