Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
