too bad you live with your parents still
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
