shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
