She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize