it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
