all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
