Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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