doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
