Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
