im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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