just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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