if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
