My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
