There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
