I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
