You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
