What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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