We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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