When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
