Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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