Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize