I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
