It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize