he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
