so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
