Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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