You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize