If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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