weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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